Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mass Media - or Lack there of


The Media
Okay, so we all want to hear how Calvin Klein is the culprit and that the emaciated waif look has caused women to tale-spin into the world of Eating Disorders. While the images of child-like women has obviously contributed to an increased obsession to be thin, and we can't deny the media influence on eating disorders, there's a lot more to it than that. 


From early-on children are taught by society that their looks matter. Think of the three and four year old who is continuously praised for being "oh so cute". With an increased population of children who spend a lot of time in front of television, there are more of them coming up with a superficial sense of who they are. Images on T.V. spend countless hours telling us to lose weight, be thin and beautiful, buy more stuff because people will like us and we'll be better people for it. Programming on the tube rarely depicts men and women with "average" body-types or crappy clothes, ingraining in the back of all our minds that this is the type of life we want. Overweight characters are typically portrayed as lazy, the one with no friends, or "the bad guy", while thin women and pumped-up men are the successful, popular, sexy and powerful ones. How can we tell our children that it's what's inside that counts, when the media continuously contradicts this message?


Super models in all the popular magazines have continued to get thinner and thinner. Modeling agencies have been reported to actively pursue Anorexic models. The average woman model weighs up to 25% less than the typical woman and maintains a weight at about 15 to 20 percent below what is considered healthy for her age and height. Some models go through plastic surgery, some are "taped-up" to mold their bodies into more photogenic representations of themselves, and photos are airbrushed before going to print. By far, these body types and images are not the norm and unobtainable to the average individual, and far and wide, the constant force of these images on society makes us believe they should be.


People in societal "pop-culture", whether consciously or subconsciously, perpetuate the ideal of thinness through their conversations, judgments and teasing of their peers and other family members. The associate of shame with weight, as women tend to not want to disclose what they weigh, or do not want to be seen in "this bathing-suit" or "that pair of shorts" contributes to the sense that they should be ashamed of their body size. The chronic passive obsession about weight within families (wife asks husband "do I look fat in this?"), and within circles of friends (first time seeing someone in a while, the comment: "you've gained/lost weight!") continues to emphasize the idea that how we look and what we weigh is of utmost importance.


I think the media isn't sending the right message most of the time. They do things for ratings, money, more time on the air, to sell a product. The message stays the same. "If you want to fit in or be cool, do this or do that. There's diet pills, weight loss commercials, and skinny people everywhere. I'm not saying that skinny is bad, in fact I think being healthy leans more to the skinny side of scale, but it's the way the media shows it. There's a lack of education for viewers, especially for young children. 


A high percentage of the American culture falls into one of two categories. Couch potato or exercise freak. There is no consistent example set to our children that moderate regular exercise is good for us and essential for our health. They either see us rigorously obsessed with burning calories and fat, or neglecting our bodies through lack of activity. We also live in the age of the video game and the internet where many of our children spend countless hours in front of Nintendo or watching as their parents sit at the computer for hours on end. It is important to encourage your kids to go outside and play and to teach them about exercise. They need to know that there is such a thing as too much or too little. The Media should focus more on that issue as a whole to be healthy and not just skinny. 

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dying to be Thin

We are all silently screaming for something: attention, love, help, escape or forgiveness. We're dying to have people notice. Although we might be looking to fill different voids, we never ask for the things we need. We feel unworthy, that for some reason we don't deserve them. So, we play the game of guess what I need from you. You're inability to guess just feeds our feelings of worthlessness. We believe we are fat, useless, unworthy, unlovable, and weak. Controlling how much we eat is something that gives us power. So we do it in different ways, but always silently. We're dying to be thin and some of us do exactly just that, die. 


Realizing you have a problem is a funny thing. It wasn't until my best friend saw me changing clothes one day, that I realized I was maybe taking things a little too far. She could see every rib poking out through my skin and my spine could be seen a mile away I'm sure. "I never see see you eat anymore." I ate, I just had restricted so much I was really just never hungry anymore. She kinda freaked and thought I was way too skinny. I pretty much just blamed it on being depressed. I've always struggled with depression and I just don't eat when I'm upset. High school is a rough time I think. There's a lot going on and people are finding who they are and what they liked, and I liked being thin. Plain and simple, I liked being able to control something. But that leads to obsessing about perfection and this downward spiral of the more you tried to control things, the more things got out of hand.


I eventually worked through my issues with food. Getting down to 97 pounds wasn't that bad, but I stayed there for years. I was 16 and joined the tennis team. We had to log everything we ate or drank for our coach. Lunch was some pretzels and water or some peanut butter crackers. We were working out so much I was afraid that if I ate a lot I'd get sick, but I started getting into trouble for not eating "right." So most of the time I started making it up, just writing down what I saw other kids eating for lunch to keep her quiet. Working out bumped me up to 100 lbs, because everyone knows that muscle weighs more than fat! And held that weight through high school. 


It wasn't until I turned 18 that I started eating more. I had worked through most of my issues and felt that I can find control in my life in different ways, besides being Anorexic. I still yo yo around eating. I do and I don't but i eat when I'm hungry and feel like thats a lot of improvement. I'm perfect the way I am and don't need to try to be the best or look the best or be afraid that people won't like me if I'm not skinny. But it's still all about control.    

Skeleton in my Closet

We all have skeletons in our closets, whether they're secrets, addictions, affairs, or just a past that never quite seems to go away. Mine is Anorexia, an eating disorder that I've always managed to keep under control. I'm healthy today and quite capable of monitoring what I eat, but lets start at the beginning. 

I was always an average weight growing up. In fact, keeping the weight on could be difficult, so my eating problem didn't start off as a self-image issue. My problems were more psychological because of the way my father treated me. I often became the convenient whipping post for his outbursts of anger, insecurities, and god knows what else. And Growing up with an abusive father took it's toll. I'm not blaming my actions on how I grew up. I just wanted some control to my life. 

I became a gymnast at an early age to spend hours away from home doing what I loved. I was competitive and to be the best you had to look the best. That meant staying little. So I worked out more and started eating less. At first it really was to be in the best shape, even being so young. But by the time I turned 13 people started noticing I was looking pretty skinny. I was 5'6" and weighed 100 lbs. That was pretty good for being an athlete. I wasn't going for "being the thinnest." I wanted to be the best, and I was for awhile. But traveling got expensive for my family and I eventually quit practicing. That didn't stop me from keeping my shape though. I felt healthy and felt better the skinnier  I was. 

I didn't start taking things to the extreme until things started getting bad at home. I remember eating Sherbet one summer day and my dad telling me I was going to get fat. A girl like me shouldn't be eating sweets. It was fat free, but at that moment I felt like I couldn't eat ice cream anymore. I'd skip meals because I wasn't hungry or I'd just eat some fruit in the mornings for awhile. But I never felt like I had a problem until I started noticing I was getting tiny little hairs all over my body. Girls aren't supposed to be hairy, and I wasn't but it's just the little things I started noticing. I'd bruise easier and in high school I'd have teachers asked me if something was going on. A divorce was going on, and my life was out of control, but I was fine. "I am fine." I always told myself that. I was at 97 pounds and felt that was great, and my height just made me look thinner than I was. 

I was never hospitalized because I never let Anorexia get out of control. "Control" It's all about control and its different for everyone. I would just limit myself food because I thought people liked skinny people. Control. I wanted to be liked. Control. I wanted to look the best and that's exactly what I did. I controlled my world to survive emotionally.